Another Boredom Watch DVD Review

Welcome To Durham (2006)

I hesitated for a bit before writing a review of this dvd for fear that one of the homeboys from the 919 Set would bust a move and roll up into C –Town and pop a cap in my cracker ass. But then I thought to myself, I really don’t have anything negative to say about any of those gangster guys, but I will say that the Big Daddy Kane interview was somewhat disappointing. Narrated by former rap superstar Chris “Play” Martin, from Kid ‘n Play fame, this gritty documentary about Durham gangs plays more like an episode of COPS than another House Party movie. It is a full 120 minutes of interviews with gang members, politicians, law enforcement, and local hip-hop musicians who dig deep trying to find answers to the problems of drugs, gang violence and poverty in Durham. Basically, all the gang members interviewed voice their disgust and dismay about how everything is bleak and getting worse, and in turn, the musicians try to help by expressing that in their rap music. The local politicians and the like blame the problems on the breakdown of the family and the side effects of poverty and pop culture on gang life in the gritty city. Although this disc only got two stars on Netflix, I’d give it a solid three and place it on the must see list for any Boredom Watch readers in the Triangle. I was going to put a list of classic quotes from the film, but I didn’t have time to write them all down yet. More to come…

Cock and the Balls: Hazerai Interview

Yet Another Exclusive Boredom Watch Interview!!! This time we place our fingers to the wrist of the Chapel Hill music scene and get real with the members of HAZERAI!!!

Lincoln sat down with Adam Kish, John Crouch and Steve Wright over some beers at the Reservoir for a talk about their band and their impression of the Chapel Hill music scene. This will be his sexiest interview ever!

BWZ- What other bands have you guys been in?

JC-Me and Steve met in band call Country Bears.

AK-I play in a band called Sons.

(interrupted by adoring fans.XR-5, the bomb is in the basement.)

SW-John you got to start...is this thing on? John you got to start and describe how you, Zach and Andrew meet 'cause you guys had the band that I join in at the end.

JC-Okay...thanks Steve, I'll take it from here.

(drunken laughter)

JC-I met a guy named Zach Blalock through a friend named Andrew Watson and we formed a band called Bears. We couldn't find a singer and Steve put out an ad in the Independent saying that he liked Unwound so we sent him an email..

SW-I thought it was Jehu...

JC-That was what triggered it. It was like, "Oh, this dude is legit."

(laughter)

SW-I didn't think any of you liked Unwound.

JC-No, I love Unwound!.....Uh, what was I saying?

SW-You didn't like it that night we played in Baltimore....when we got all drunk and I made you listen to that feedback part for 20 minutes.

JC-Oh, yeah. (laughing) Okay, so we played in a band called Bears and then Steve tried out. Later that night, after he was leaving he was like, "Hey, I got to go to another try out, but I'll let you guys know..." and we....

SW-Did I say that?

JC-Yes, you did and we knew he was in. So we played in a band that was mistakenly and originally called Country Bears...it was off a joke that I made up. Anyway, we were called Country Bears from then on. When that was over...I don't when did Adam?...

AK-'Cause I tried out for Country Bears and got denied actually...I didn't get the spot.

JC-You didn't have a van is what it came down to.

AK-I didn't have a van.

SW-Yeah, you didn't have good gear, man.

(laughter)

SW-You didn't have the Pro Gear.

AK-I didn't have the gear so they say.

(laughter)

AK-and then I guess the band broke up, right? Country Bears broke up...

SW-That's the bass...(pointing to bass hanging over the hallway to men's bathroom at the Reservoir)

AK-Last show broken bass right there.

BWZ-Oh, really?

SW-That guy doesn't have the gear either.

(laughter)

AK-then umm...

SW-He got the call back.

AK-I got the call back and we started Hazerai.

JC-That was November of 2005.

BWZ-So it's been close to two years now?

JC-Actually it was January, cause January....

SW-Yeah, November my kid was born and I definitely wasn't getting back in for a month or two.....and we practiced in Adam's mom's basement for a while. It was unbelievably noisy and she is a saint for putting up with that. We drove your dog insane.

AK-Yeah.

SW-There was a little shack out back that looked haunted and every time you went out to pee it was scary out there.

AK-That was on Old Lystra, which is a Polvo song.

JC-We were almost called Old Lystra, but there was another one?

BWZ-That's pretty sweet...your history is so succulent.

JC-We also had a dude named Dave that played the keyboards.

SW-For like a month or two.

BWZ-I'm glad you guys didn't put the keyboard in the line up, because it sounds fucking great right now. Keyboards might have thrown you over the edge.

SW-We were called Bobby Gaza at that point.

(laughter)

SW-We knew Bobby Gaza was a problem when we would try to book next door (Track and Field) and they would be like, "You guys aren't going to keep that name" and we were like, "Yeah we are."

AK-We were also Cock and Balls

SW-Yeah, we were Cock and Balls.

AK-It was Cock and the Balls.

SW-I think it was just Cock and Balls and I always felt really stupid calling Track and Field and be like, "Hey this is Steve from Cock and Balls....

(laughter)

SW-...do you have any Wednesday nights open." That was bad.



BWZ-Where did the name Hazerai come from? I have heard rumors as to were it comes from, but how do you associate it with your band?

AK-That was originally Andrew right?

JC-My friend Andrew, the original bassist in Country Bears,...I don't remember when or where....I just remembered he said that word and I guess it is Yiddish. It is slang for junk or bullshit.

AK-but a recent definition I heard was, "all the bells and whistles"...like it just means everything.

SW-I've seen it used in recipes...like online people will be like, "that's hazerai." in a derogatory way...like that's some crappy wine or that's cheap beer.

AK-There is also a new pedal called Hazerai....

JC-We need to copyright that shit. (laughs)

SW-It will bring lots of web hits to our website. It will be awesome...

(laughter)

SW-..lots of musicians will mistakenly find us and be very frustrated.

(laughter)

BWZ-So how long have you guys been in the area?

SW-You moved here most recently right? (pointing to Adam Kish)

AK-Yeah about three years.

SW-That's me too. I'm three years.

JC-I grew up in Burlington so I have kind-of-sort-of always been here.

SW-Adam and I both grew up in Charlottesville.

JC-Did you grow up there?

AK-Yeah Charlottesville, Virginia

BWZ-Virginia...that's for Lovers isn't it?

SW-Dave Matthews lovers, but I won't get into that.



BWZ-You guys have been in the music scene for two years now...so how do you feel about the music scene, not necessarily in Chapel Hill, but in the Triangle? You can be mean if you want, but you don't have too.

SW-I'm going to be stupidly nice, because I moved here from San Francisco, where I played in a couple bands and felt like we had to break down a fuckin' door to get a show. Maybe we were bad...I don't know. I don't think we were that bad. Bands would never help us out or try to get us shows and I feel like here bands approach us...maybe times have changed and now there is like Myspace and stuff, but bands are approaching us about shows and it's great. I never felt that in San Francisco or Charlottesville where I use to play too.

JC-I don't know...it's that and for a while when we were doing Country Bears stuff about three years ago we had a lot of trouble finding hard/heavy bands, I mean not to say...

SW-Yeah, we did.

JC-...they were few and far between.

SW-Are there more now?

JC-It seems like it.

SW-Yeah, maybe there are...or is it we are learning there are more?

JC-I don't know.

BWZ-In the area?

SW-Yeah...in Chapel Hill.

JC-...for a while...

SW-In The Year Of The Pig was like the only band and we were always setting you guys up for shows.

AK-Four times a week.

SW-We played with a lot of bands...like Cities remember..that was our first show. We had a lot of weird shows. Literally we would arrange a show and just start asking anyone to play with us we could get. I think there are more heavy bands now.

JC-Sure as hell seems like it.

AK-As far as the shows quality though a lot of them don't seem to great in the Chapel Hill area as far as people coming out.

BWZ-Have you guys looked outside this area for that kind of scene? Looking for more bands to play with?

JC-No. (laughing)

AK-We should.

SW-I know we have commented on how little towns like Greenville like us more.

AK-We had an awesome show there.

SW-I was going to say Wilmington, but we haven't played down there.

AK-Charlottesville, VA we had a really good show. That might have been friends and family... don't really know.

(laughter)

BWZ-Greenville had a little scene down there a while back. It would seem that they would be starving for the kind of music you all are playing.

SW-Maybe, and think we were saying because there is less to do in those kinds of towns people are a little more angry. I think intellectual snobs think hard music is for meat heads or dumb fucks, but not all of it is.

AK-Well were not meat heads.

SW-Girls don't like heavy music....not many. Only special girls...very special girls.

BWZ-There are a lot of women on campus and this town carters to the campus. You guys are getting shafted. How does that feel?

SW-I don't think that the college kids come out..unless they are heavy into the underground. They dress like you wouldn't know they were college kids....maybe, I don't know.

JC-Isn't not that I desire really shitty shows, but some of my favorite memories in this band are from really bad shows. You know like 4 people at BCHQ (Bull City Headquarters). Sometimes it makes it more interesting. It seems when no one is there I get a weird energy.

SW-Yeah, I know what your saying. You kind of mad and sometimes that will focus you to play that much better.

JC-It's not that I play better it's probably that we get more loose.

(break for beers)

BWZ-What is your favorite place to play in the area?

JC-Probably here. (referring to the Reservoir which hosts live show) The Reservoir has been really awesome to us.

BWZ-Your first show was at the Reservoir?

AK-Our first show was at the Wetlands with Tiger, Bear, Wolf.

BWZ-When I first moved here there seemed to be more venues catering to the type of music you all are playing, but places like the Reservoir and Nightlight have had to take up that slack. How do you feel about the press you guys are getting?

SW-Lack of.

BWZ-Yeah, do you like the fact that it is an underground group of people that spread shows by word of mouth or would you like to see more written press about the shows?

JC-It's tough because we are sort of lazy about it all....

(laughter)

SW-I think we are kind of assholes about it on purpose. Like the stuff we send out is written by hand or ripped up or jokes. Our one sheet doesn't say anything about what our music actually is. I think we put out misinformation on purpose. I have tried to do it legit many...many times and I'm just over it. I kind of like fuckin' around...not fuckin' around. You either know or you don't, you come out or you don't. What is the use of send out some real thing to.....(loud music plays in the background. A show is about to start up and we step outside after finishing beers.)

BWZ-Any last words?

JC-We have a show on November 1 at Bull City Headquarters and November 11 here at the Reservoir.

SW-I would like to go back if I may...

BWZ-sure.

SW-I don't think I hit the nail on the head exactly. We don't go for misinformation....I think it kind of goes with our music which is sort of angry and obnoxious and so I think that is what we send out to the press. We kind of assume no big press is going to like because of the music we make. I don't know...am I totally wrong with this?

AK-I mean I have seen big press about bands that are worse than us.

(laughter)

BWZ-and that goes back to the local press thing. Do you feel like they give good coverage about what is going on in this area or do you feel like it's one of those things were were Independent has a readers poll and almost everything that won was affiliate with a corporation?

SW-I don't think we have tried to be nice or shake a hand, like if we tried that maybe we would get press. We put obnoxious fliers. If we were a little more in a genre, if we were more hardcore or more metal then maybe we would not feel like outcasts.

AK-When we play show with people that fit into a genre then we look like outcasts automatically, because we aren't hard enough or we are not indie enough or pop enough....

SW-That's what I was trying to say.

BWZ-Is there anything else you guys would like to say into the microphone of love?

JC-Wu-tang Forever.

(laughter)

REDDY TO RAGE: The Chetan Interview

Dirty Five Thirty's Beloved Bass Player Chetan Reddy Speaks with Boredom Watch Zine in this Exclusive Interview.


The Chetorious Shaft Interview

BWZ: Why do you like Kentucky Supreme so much?

Chetan: Aside from the fact that it’s delicious and not syrupy, its an excellent bourbon buzz that’s kind on the wallet, my liver, and the morning.

BWZ: I think that pretty much sums it up. So when did you meet Geno?

Chetan: Oh it was a match made in heaven. I met him back in 1999. He was wilder then than he is now. And, I gotta say that I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I stood corrected. (laughter)

BWZ: Epic. So, when did you start playing music together?

Chetan: That would have to be 2001.

BWZ: Was that Dirty Five Thirty?

Chetan: No that was some Carribean folk shit.

BWZ: Was Josh in it?

Chetan: No, but Josh knew the people that were in it.

BWZ: Was it people in Dirty Five now?

Chetan: Zach was in the band then, but he’s not in the band anymore.



BWZ: So what happened with the brothers in a nutshell?

Chetan: Zach wanted out. He wanted to go to law school, and his brother didn’t know what he was doing and one thing led to another. They didn’t want to do it anymore so we got some new guys and we’re kickin’ it better now.

BWZ: So, when did you start playing bass?

Chetan: 1996.

BWZ: Did you have any prior training?

Chetan: I played guitar from like seventh grade and then I picked up the bass.

BWZ: What was that like?

Chetan: It was like a totally different technique because guitar is like a melody instrument where bass is like a melody/rhythm instrument. So it was like you had to know your scales and everything, but with the bass it is so much more how you play the note than just playing the note. So, that’s what I liked about it. It’s more hands on.

BWZ: Were you in the band in high school?

Chetan: I played the viola.

BWZ: How does that compare to the bass?

Chetan: Well, you use a bow (laughter), and you play it upright on your shoulder. It’s like a bigger violin. You have a C string, a low C string, a low G, an A, a D, and then an A, where as a violin has a G, D, A, and a high E, so it’s a little deeper. Scale wise it’s between a cello and a violin.

BWZ: So do you want to break out the viola in the music you’re playing now?

Chetan: I haven’t touched that thing in so many years. I went back and played it once and I suck at it now so probably not. Its not like riding a bike. You have to learn it all over again.

BWZ: So what is Dirty Five Thirty working on now?

Chetan: We’re working on a new demo now. We hope to go back in the studio early next year and record an EP. Right now we’re working on writing new music, playing shows and keeping the name going and all that stuff. Except for mixing and mastering, we do it all ourselves in house, indy style. Hopefully we’ll get the new CD out before summer so we can get a tour behind it.

BWZ: Are you going to epicize?

Chetan: I think epicizing always happens whenever Dirty Five Thirty is around. It is a part of the foundation of the band.

BWZ: What new song are you most psyched about?

Chetan: This song called Disco. Its real stripped down during the verse and then it goes into this disco funk during the chorus. Its fat.

BWZ: Tell us about Dirty Five’s newest addition.

Chetan: Malcolm? Mr. Michael Carter Duncan is hopefully going to be a new fixture. As of now, Ruff House, as he likes to be called, is a featured guest.

Trey: I call him Ashy M.

Chetan: The R-U double F.

Trey: They did epicize! They had this little white boy rapper and now it’s a big black dude, so they epicized that shit. (laughter)



BWZ: What was the best show Dirty Five Thirty ever played?

Chetan: Probably the one at the Library that you and Trey were at. That’s definitely in the top three. Hippie Fest in the mountains.

BWZ: How many shows do you usually play when you go out on the road?

Chetan: It depends, sometimes if can get a guarantee, we’ll go out on the road just to play that show. If its far away, we’ll string some stuff together. We are doing an East Coast Tour in the near future so look for us. We played in Athens like three weeks ago.


BWZ: What was that like?

Chetan: It was raucous. We got supremely hammered on Monday night scoping out the scene there. So, we handed out a bunch of flyers. It turned out to be a great show. We played with this band called Jazz Chronic. People in Athens are just cool as shit.

BWZ: When was the last time you cabbage patched?

Chetan: Probably about twenty-five minutes ago. (laughter)

BWZ: What were the circumstances?

Chetan: I saw Froto talking to BGP on the bench and I saw the twinkle in BGPs eyes, so I started cabbage patching a little.

BWZ: When did you start waiting tables?

Trey: Oh we’re getting into the deep shit now.

Chetan: Shit ’97 or something.

BWZ: How do you continue to do it?

Chetan: (laughter) Cuz I work at La Rez with a bunch of whackos. Just keeps me on my toes man I guess. (more laughter)

BWZ: What’s the most ordered shot when you’re bartending?

Chetan: So Co and lime.
BWZ: Whats your favorite shot to make?

Chetan: The Cheetah Bomb. (laughter) No, the Puck Fuck. It’s Red Bull, apple vodka and a splash of Puckers. The Cheetah Bomb is orange in nature, the colors. You got your Red Bull, some orange vodka, throw a little raspberry vodka in there with a little sour mix and a dash of OJ.

BWZ: What is your porn star name?

Chetan: Clithero Reddy (aka: J.J. Clithero)

BWZ: Is that French?

Chetan: It’s part French and part Anderapradesh.

BWZ: Thanks for the interview.

Thw Antoine Chavez Interview Continues

BWZ: Your favorite color?

Antoine: Red

BWZ: Whats your sign?

Antoine: Vertigo man.

BWZ: Do you drink?

Antoine: Gettin' me a vodka tonic.

The Legend of Antoine Chavez

In the midst of the mildly entertaining Carrboro Music Festival, seen weaving between pedestrians on his motorized scooter, Antoine Chavez emerged unscathed after a near death experience near the train tracks. Details to follow...

BWZ Blogger Tribute: Featuring the Boring Trappings of Everyday Life That No One Wants to Read About!

Life Without Dryer Sheets: A True Saga Investigates the True Role of Dryer Sheets in This Man's Life

It all started a week or so ago doing laundry in the Boredom Watch Corporate Laundry Facility when I discovered that there were only three dryer sheets left in the box. I consciously planted the notion in the back of my head to pick up a box at my next convenience, and moved on to better things. I had to get back on the computer and read some more stupid blogs like the one you are reading. The days clipped by fast and before I knew it, I was pulling a load of laundry out of the washer and it dawned on me, "Oh shit, there aren't anymore dryer sheets!"
Reluctantly, I set the dryer on 60 minute timed dry and shut the door without placing the sacred sheet in with the soggy clothes. Some time later, I would fluff and fold with no thought of the absent sheet. It just slipped my mind I guess. The next three days would be dryer sheet free ones for this liberated zinester. Yes, I have done four loads of laundry now without the sheets and I can't really tell the difference. I must be retarded, but I was a happy retard earlier today at the grocery store when I nonchalantly passed right by Bounce on sale and didn't break stride. Its just one less thing I have to deal with. Epic.

The Official Mike Vick Jersey Repair Kit!!!

Now available through this exclusive offering from Boredom Watch Magazine, this little sewing kit could end up saving you precious dollars!!
Why trash that awesome NFL jersey you paid good hard cash for last winter? Now the name Vick can be easily disguised with BWZ's patented dickhead name blocker fabric!!! This high tech material is the precise Falcon red that is still cherished in Atlanta. A number four is now readily available along with the "Leftwich" moniker for easy sew on applications easily sewn by an array of satisfied customers. Of course, you could always sew the four next to the seven to make "74" and use the "Weiner" moniker, but it would look weird and make a statement. Act now, supplies are limited!

Do You Know About the Metallic Heat?

About a month or so ago, I saw a video on-line of this redneck kid eating a habanero pepper and buckling under the intense pain of the heat. As I watched the kid regurgitate the pepper and grab his face in pain, I laughed out loud and moved on to the next funny YouTube clip. The next day, I watched the video again, but this time I made my kids watch so they would see first hand the pain and agony that a hot ass chili pepper can bring. My boys winced as they watched the idiot redneck boy flail out in true fashion, drool and sound effects included.

Later that same day when they were talking about the habanero boy, I told them a legendary story about one of my old friends in D.C. who told me about this idiot who came into their restaurant and poured some Dave’s Insanity Hot Sauce in his chili and ended up having to be taken out on a stretcher after falling on the floor screaming for mercy. The guy thought he was having a heart attack from the painful hot spicyness.

Then, I remembered to myself about the first time I went to an authentic Thai restaurant in San Diego for dinner, and ordered my dish to be prepared “mild” and ended up in intense pain for like an hour or so after I realized aloud three bites into the dish that, “Holy shit! This shit is spicy!” All of that said, I have to say that my experience at the Med Deli last Sunday was an unforeseen and harrowing one at best.

Claire ordered some chicken kabob thing that she likes, which always comes with a bed of rice topped with a big roasted green jalapeno pepper. That’s what I always thought the pepper was, but now I’m not so sure. In the past, the pepper hasn’t been that hot. Sometimes this mystery pepper has not been hot at all, and she consumed the entire thing. Well, this past Sunday turned out to be a little different.

We ordered the same stuff as always and got down to enjoying another legendary Sunday afternoon family lunch at Med Deli. This has been our tradition for years now. As usual, we ate outside and everything was awesome. I got the mixed grill and a greek salad, she got the kabob plate thing with the pepper on the rice. Epic.

All was well as we savored our meal and enjoyed the outdoor patio seating in the comfortable N.C. September weather. We were almost done eating, and without pause I innocently and idiotically piped up like the fool I was three days ago and asked, "Hey, are you going to eat that pepper?” This seemingly benign little question turned out to be the beginning of a nightmare that I will not soon forget. These were basically my last words, for the next thirty minutes at least.

So, I cut into the end of the pepper gleefully, not unlike the idiot redneck boy aforementioned in this little story. Actually, in a way, I became the idiot redneck habanero boy at that very moment. I gently sliced the end of the roasted green pepper off and positioned it properly on my fork with precision. I think for a minute that I was as deep in a fantasy world as I’ve ever been before, as I placed the toxic substance willfully in my own face and began to chew.

Within fractions of a second after placing the demon pepper in my mouth, I was overcome with an unusual sensation. It was like a metallic rush through my inner mouth and tongue that turned into sheer agonizing pain. I crammed my hand into my mouth and pulled out the chewed up pepper, but it was too late. Things actually got worse from here. I still cannot believe how hot that pepper was. I only had it in my mouth for a second and the effects lasted for the next hour at least. I began grabbing at anything edible left on the table and shoving it in my mouth with the hope that the pain would subside. I drank two more glasses of iced tea and savored every gulp. I was at the point where I had to keep the cold tea in my mouth without swallowing to fend off the pain.

Later, when the sensations of fire igniting inside my torn up oral cavity wore off, I was able to laugh about it and speculate with a mild apprehension about how it would feel on the back end. It was an unpleasant future for my ass that I envisioned, but I was too relieved to worry about it at the time. Hey, there's some material for the next Boredom Watch blog...

Anyway, I guess I had to tell this story for a couple of reasons. The main reason really is to warn my readers that hot peppers are not meant to be taken lightly. Yea, maybe you’ve felt the pain of a searing hot pepper, but when you feel the toxic metallic hot nightmare that I experienced, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Shit, maybe you already do.

About Me???

As per the order of Stella MacPherson, who now resides in L.A. and rarely wears underpants, one of the things we do in the Boredom Watch office when there really is absolutely nothing to do is roll through random Myspace sites to find interesting “About Me” information. Sometimes it can be inspirational, other times it can be disturbing. Here’s a small sampling of what we’ve found:

"Love all, trust a few."
Male
25 years old
949, California
United States
Last Login: 8/25/2007
I love sparkels sometimes I roll around in glue then pour glitter on myself. I like to pretend I am a unicorn with special powers, Awesome powers like being able to make rainbows out of cotton candy.I wish I was unicorn then I would jump up so high and eat the cotton candy rainbow.I would dance and frolock around naked, then go to mall and get glamour shots.Then I would not pay because getting glamour shots of yourself is fuckin gay......and so is driving sober< what?......nevermind. I just got a weird feeling something bad is heading my way. Like when you see an Asian person behind the wheel of a car.

"Forgive Me Father, For I Have Sinned."
Female
18 years old
[219]Your Basement, Indiana
United States
Last Login: 8/27/2007
I hate my dad. He is an ass. I play Pokemon. Fuck you. I smoke cigs. I drink. I smoke weed. I think my mom is the greatest.

"I care not so much what I am to others as what I am to myself. "
Male
30 years old
Frederick, Maryland
United States
Last Login: 8/23/2007
I live my life as it is thrown at me! I love to hang out with my friends and act like a kid since I am one at heart! I'm a very caring and sincere guy, who also loves to spoil my women...however only if you appreciate it! I have my own townhouse that just got remodled in downtown Frederick, which means walking distance to all the bars!!! Not to mention I have a slurpee machine if I want to have a few people over for a party!!! I love to play beer pong and have my own custom table but don't think I party all the time, I still like to stay home and chill. If you want to know more just ask because if I tell you everything now we wont have anything to start a conversation later!!!!



"Chavo del 310"
Male
24 years old
LOS ANGELES, California
United States
Last Login: 8/23/2007
I am an artist. I am spiritual. I am a businessman. I am outgoing. I am. I love anything that has to do with the arts including theater, film, art, music, dancing, etc. I am a big nerd. I admire intelligence in individuals and the people that surround me. I keep myself busy constantly. I am always moving. I am never home. I look for friends that are intelligent and talk about politics, the future, and philosophy. I am bold and stubborn at times. I don't like to be wrong, but after a few hours, I realize my mistakes and accept my faults. I want to own a trailer where I can travel from city to city, working off my laptop and enjoying a new enviornment, at the push of a pedal. I want to see the world... that's what I live for. I enjoy culture and the beauties that enlie within other communities and civilizations on this planet. I got my diploma as I had planned by 23. I got my company up and running and I am almost 24. I am looking for a good woman to carry my daughter who I wish to have by 25, a trailer by 26, and a husband by 27. I like to dream and make those visions realities. I enjoy every person that comes into my life because we are all different and have something to learn from eachother.

"I am what I am, & I be who I be"
Male
27 years old
Knoxville, Maryland
United States
Last Login: 8/23/2007
Who am i? Good question... I'm a man, who's of age to do "legal legal" stuff. I work full time, and I party hard. I drink to mingle, b/c I'm single. Wanna get to know me for me, or try to par-tay, today. Say something, I ain't scared. I got two types of family, got my friends and my blood, both of which I like & love. Nothing will ever change that. If you wanna figure out who I am, add me and find out. Guess the easiest way to describe me, would be: Being the nice guy, working on getting fly, don't let this playa pass you by. Rollin up to the club, sitting pretty on dubs, don't hesitate ladies, I ain't no scrub. Just remember, it ain't no bother, if all you wanna do is Hollar!



"Jammy."
Male
21 years old
PHOENIX, Alabama
United States
Last Login: 8/28/2007
Well. I'm pretty damn nerdly. I used to work at a computer store, but got fired. For some reasons managers dont like to be called mother fuckers. Now I slave away in a warehouse and pray for the day the ladder falls out from under me. I play a lot of video games. Read comics. And draw (not very well). I dont really like to move around a lot. Mainly on account of my laziness. Spain kicks ass though.

"Bitches Get Stitches!!!"
Male
18 years old
Arizona
United States
Last Login: 8/28/2007
I'm Jonn I Get CD's Before They Even Come Out. I Work At Burger King & The Cricket Pavillion. Money's Money, It Don't Matter. I Absolutely Hate Spiders With A Passion. I Love Going To The Movies So If You Go & You Take Me, I Will Love You =). I Love Music, All Kinds, But Metal & Anything With Screaming In It Is My Favorite =). I Love My Friends & I Will Always Try To Go Out Of My Way For Them, But If I Can't I'm Sorry =/Overall I'm A Very Laid Back Person. I'm Very Open Minded =D. I Have Some Piercings. I love Music, Movies, Video Games, & Chillin' With Friends. My Family & Friends Are The Most Important Things In The World To Me! =) ...And I Have My License =D

6 Quick DVD Reviews

Big Bad Wolf (2006)

Now this is a werewolf movie made by some sick fucks. Not only does the monster rip his victims to shreds, but he ferociously rapes the more attractive female ones and enjoys every minute of it. How can you tell he's enjoying it? Well, this werewolf can talk (even when he is ravenously clawing at the bare breasts of the typical dumb-blonde-in-horror-movie type). He also rips off limbs and sucks on the bloody ends of them, hacks off people’s heads and chews a couple of faces off of live victims, but the rape scenes are totally over the top. Put it this way, this dvd will redefine doggie-style for even the most shrewd of B horror movie geeks. The guy who played Buddy Revell in 3:00 High plays the werewolf and Eagle Bauer from Rock n Roll High School pays a visit. Everyone else in the movie is basically a new face. (JB)



Fracture (2007)

Anthony Hopkins is his usual psycho character self, intelligent and evil all wrapped up with a sharp smart-ass attitude to go along. This time he’s shot his wife in the head and ends up getting a hard-on for Willy the attorney who wants to prosecute him. With wifey in a coma, the courtroom antics spin out of control as we learn that the first cop on the scene of the shooting was fucking Hopkins’ wife. Ooo, now that’s a weird new Hollywood plot twist. Willy is played by Ryan Gosling, who does a good job in the movie overall, but, by the end the whole story just kind of ran out of gas. I won’t give away the ending. (JB)




The Contract (2006)

Just looking at the cover of this one might be an instant turn off for a lot of people. I mean who wants to see another suspense film with Morgan Freeman in it? John Cusack is still pretty cool though and even though the plot of the movie is pretty corny, I admit that I almost enjoyed it. Cusack is a schoolteacher/baseball coach who is taking his son out camping “Outward Bound” style to do some bonding after the teen gets in trouble back home. While hiking a trail, they come across Freeman, an assassin who has just killed a federal agent and is on the run from some other crazy assassins. Its hard to sell the idea of one ex-cop could take on like five trained military dudes with machine guns and helicopters and win. On top of the difficult suspension of disbelief thing, one can’t help but to beg for the demise of the teenager who is along for the ride. One more snotty ass comment from that brat would make even Ghandi want to jump into the screen and wrench his little head off. (JB)



Premonition (2007)

Although some people I know can’t stand her, I really don’t mind the fact that Sandra Bullock plays the lead in this movie. What I do mind is that she’s playing the lead in a horrible movie. Why did she agree to do this film? The character she plays is a complete psycho idiot. Since when is a premonition when you wake up every other day to a different day that hasn’t happened yet, and then you have to piece together where you are in time??? What the hell kind of mindfuck movie is this? And, of course, at the end, Sandra not only has to witness in person what she already knew was going to happen to her husband, but she also turns out to be the cause of the accident. Whoa, trip out dude, that was so heavy. Sandy, wipe that dumb look of your face and score some better parts. (JB)



Disturbia (2007)

This movie was dead out of the gate with the stupid home shackle ankle bracelet thing going on with a Rear Window style thriller approach. He’s like a young Jimmy Stewart in house arrest! This movie would make Hitchcock want to stick his head facefirst into a toilet full of shit to avoid watching. Why does the Transformer kid suck so bad? Who let that kid into the movies? Doesn’t Paris Hilton have a brother or something? This dork makes a young Tom Cruise seem almost cool. Whoever got the idea that this geek could carry a feature length film was sadly mistaken. I’d recommend a bottle of Kaopectate to go with this one. (JB)



Black Snake Moan (2006)

This movie is a white trash trailer park/southern black tale of a recently jilted country black guy (Samuel L. Jackson) who decides to take it upon himself to reform a young hot countrified slut played by Christina Ricci. Oh wait, you probably already knew that. And, if you saw the trailer, you know he does it by shackling her to his house with a huge chain. So anyway, Ricci writhes around on the floor begging for cock as expected. Jackson, of course, is a bluesman at heart and soothes the savage beast in the whore by playing old blues licks in the living room. Justin Timberlake has a small role as her disturbed boyfriend. This movie is so stupid I’m surprised they actually made it. (JB)