2 random dvd reviews

Hitch
This guy Albert (Kevin James) goes to Hitch (Will Smith) for help hooking up with this celebrity chick(Amber Valletta). Albert is a portly funny guy. Will (as Hitch of course) is his usual charming and amusing self. I like both of these guys. Will yearns for, and winds up totally in love with Sara (Eva Mendes), who is really super attractive. She is a gossip columnist for this cheesy tabloid style publication that wants her to keep close watch on the celebrity chick aforementioned in this review. In spite of its corny mainstream and tacky mass appeal, this movie left me feeling as though I hadn't completely wasted my time paying attention to it to write this review. However, it wasn't a particularly rewarding experience either. Unfortunately for the discerning viewer, Hitch proves itself to be yet another movie set in a huge city where six or seven people just all happen to continue to cross paths and I could not accept this on a basic level. Actually, the characters' ability to randomly come across each other and proceed to have a deep interaction is kind of annoying at times. As expected from this "feel good" flick, Albert perseveres and eventually is able plunge his fat body into the love snuggle nest of the celebrity chick. Its all good when the Fresh Prince is in da house. (JB)



Metallica Documentary:
Some Kind of Monster
This movie stands alone as the number one reason to hate Metallica, and I loved Metallica back in the eighties. No matter how much you appreciate their music today or yesterday, this deep look inside the band and their weird, quirky stadium concert playing heavy metal world is disturbing at best. Halfway through it I was cringing whenever any of them opened their mouths. Why do we care what these guys do or say when they're not playing metal? They may as well be a fucking knitting circle as far as I can tell. The whole bit with their "band Psychiatrist" (I wonder what he was prescribing), made me disinterested immediately. The fact is, that whether or not this documentary is a real document of what Metallica is or was, I think a more positive and upbeat recollection of their work and tours would have been more fun to watch and listen to. Who wants to watch a bunch of old geeks bicker with each other over nothing and mean it? I once shotgunned beers with this kid when I was in high school who lived and breathed Metallica and that was back in 1985. I rode the lightning and it was glorious. That kind of stuff wasn't covered in the doc. For real metal documentary fans I recommend Heavy Metal Parking Lot. (JB)