Boredom Watch Keeps Its Fingers to the Pulse of Chapel Hizznilly

The saga of Antoine Chavez has a long way to go before it rears its ugly head again on these computerized pseudo pages. The Studio Gangsters have infiltrated, and the prospect of a new tomorrow has been replaced by a different sentiment, one of sheer overt sexuality mixed with a unique brand of urban stoopidity. These guys were crunked long before the upscale bar that doesn't allow dogs opened on Franklin Street. Wax Fangs rolls with a Whippet, so you know how those boys feel about that shafty policy.

August was a long month for the staff of BWZ. We rose to great heights, and in turn, we fell to all time lows. It was bittersweet glory interlaced with brief highs and an introspective self regret. But, we did it together! And together we will ride into the upcoming fall months. Look for photo updates and comments from our admiring readership!

STUDIO GANGSTERS "Exclusive Interview"

By Damon Shattuck (in the hizznuck)

It all happened at the Reservoir in Chapel Hill under the name of Dr. Next, because I just had to hit the ‘next’ button on their laptop about six times. They opened up for the Bout It Boyz from Charlotte and Social Memory Complex from Chapel Hill. It was a really fun show, and by the time we had seen some music and gone onto our photo shoot behind the bar we were pretty ripped. So, I gave Wax Fangs my notebook with some of the following questions in it. He took it home and returned it, and I brought the notebook with me to San Diego where I am now typing it up on my mom’s computer. Hope everyone enjoys. Off to Longs Drugstore!

BWZ: Who are you and where did you first meet and start playing together?
Gangsters: I'm Wax Fangs. Me and Kool-Aid met in Fort Mill, S.C., back in like 97'. I was living next to a golf course with my crazy girlfriend at the time. We both liked a lot of the same hip-hop, like late 80's and early 90's stuff, so we started making tapes in my basement on a Tascam 4 track.
BWZ: Your songs are rather sexual. Would you consider your body of work an exact chronicle of your own sexual exploits?
Gangsters: We definitely love sex, but there's a lot of hyperbole to our lyrics. I personally have jizzed on a lot of faces though, so there is some basis in reality to a lot of it.
BWZ: Your songs aren't very spiritual, but which religious groups would you be most popular with if they were?
Gangsters: I think Catholics would identify with the confessional nature of our lyrics and priests love to fuck, so I’m gonna go with the Catholics.
BWZ: In rap lingo, 'Studio Gangster' is an insult. What makes you truly hard? Do you record in a very dangerous studio?
Gangsters: We chose the name because it's an insult. It's like a self-deprecating disclaimer. We're telling you that we don't take ourselves too seriously. We are entertainers, and rather than try and pretend we're hard, we embrace the fact that we aren't.
BWZ: Which side of the Iraq war do you side with?
Gangsters: I can't speak for Kool-Aid but I, as the Wax-man, feel empathy for the Iraqis and for us too. We had no business going there in the first place, but I think it would be wrong to say that we support the insurgents. These kids in the military had no choice but to go fight this misguided war and that sucks for them, but at the same time it sucks for the Iraqi people to have their country occupied against their will.
BWZ: Have either of you ever used an ear candle, enema, or experienced any other interesting medical issue now or in the past?
Gangsters: I have used an ear candle. It was filled with microscopic bugs and venereal disease when I was done with it, I haven't used one since. As for enemas, I buy mine at the Food Lion and use them profusely and regularly.

BWZ: What’s your favorite beer?
Gangsters: Studio Gangsters endorse Miller High Life exclusively.
BWZ: What is the best age to be?
Gangsters: I found 17, 23, and 26 to be exhilarating.
BWZ: What’s your lucky number?
Gangsters: 5
BWZ: Which do you prefer, blondes or brunettes?
Gangsters: Wax Fangs likes brunettes, while Kool-Aid tends to go for the blondes.
BWZ: Beatles or the Rolling Stones?
Gangsters: Beatles when we’re sober, Stones when we’re drunk.
BWZ: What are the names of your first pets?
Gangsters: I had a cat named Lancelot when I was a kid. I think Kool-Aids first pet was Oreo, the undead dog. Oreo was run over like four times and survived. Once, Oreo was laying on the couch sleeping and when he got up I felt where he'd been sleeping and it was ice cold.


BWZ: What are your porn names?
Gangsters: Wax Fangs is ‘Lancelot Yale’, and Kool-Aid is ‘Oreo Willowbrook’.
BWZ: What did or do your parents do?
Gangsters: Wax’s mom is a paralegal and his dad worked for the airlines. Kool-Aid’s dad is a bookie and pool shark and his mom cleans houses, we think.
BWZ: Have you ever been to jail? And why?
Gangsters: Yes, several times, cuz' we're hard bitch!
BWZ: What’s the message to the world from Studio Gangsters...
Gangsters: Jizzin' on ya face, jizzin' on ya face, j-j-j-j-jizzin' on ya face.
BWZ: Is there anything you did in your childhood that you felt guilty about at the time? When you first realized you were deviant? Something that made you want to ask your parents to move to the next town as the only solution?
Gangsters: Once, when I was little, I drove a bunch of nails through a board and then buried it nail-side up in the sandbox at the playground. The playground was at the park behind my house and I would sit in my room listening for screams.
BWZ: What is your dream double-bill, musicians dead or alive? and who opens?
Gangsters: If you're talking hip-hop, it would be great to see Boogie Down Productions when Scott La Rock was still alive opening for Welcome to the Terrordome-era P.E.
BWZ: What is your spirit animal and what are your rainbow names?
Gangsters: My spirit animal is definitely the Mexican polar bear, because I love tacos. Kool-Aid’s is the Labradoodle. I don't know what Kool-Aid’s rainbow name is, but mine is 'fuck you, get out of my face you dirty hippie.'
BWZ: Would you rather be killed slowly by a shark in the water, or by a bear on land?


Gangsters: We cannot be killed.
BWZ: Do you have any phobias?
Gangsters: Fat chicks.
BWZ: What are your nicknames?
Gangsters: Sometimes Ellis calls me 'Fuckboy', but on stage I go by Wax Fangs.
BWZ: What kind of response do you get from people when they hear your cd? Is it different between men and women?
Gangsters: Women usually want to fuck us when they hear it, while men tend to be more combative.
BWZ: What is one piece of advice you can give to children who want to grow up to be exactly like you?
Gangsters: Wear a raincoat.
BWZ: What about the future of Studio Gangsters?
Gangsters: We're working on a full length CD to follow up the Robot Love single, and we're booking more shows in Chapel Hill and Charlotte. We're just gonna keep doing hip-hop because it's what we love.

Just What I See

Close BWZ comrade and budding photographer extraordinaire Greg Schmigel has successfully launched his awesome website of camera phone photography. Check the linkage and enjoy. Look for a Schmigel interview with select images in the coming weeks on this very website!.

The Butter Gets Scrutinized

Shaun Butters has now threatened to QUIT rugby and become a loser next year for his senior term at UNC because he has some fucked ideas about having a "social" life. This absurd notion not only comes as a shock to the Boredom Watch staff, but remains now as a constant reminder of how close we need to watch these so called "bussers" in these fine dining establishments.
Let's just admit right now that sometimes certain levels of style and epic "over the top stylage" could be misconstrued and backfire when placed in the wrong hands. Simply witnessing such phenominal stuff could prove detrimental to otherwise uninvolved bystanders. I say uninvolved because it's obvious that no busser could really produce the results I've merely hinted to thus far in this BWZ blurb. The cabbage is real and the CPSR effect is well documented.
Please send in your concerns. Junk mail will remain unanswered.
Readers take note:
1. Butters will not be allowed to quit rugby.

The Legend of Antoine Chavez Continued

Earlier tonight, in the Carrboro moonlight, I caught a glimpse of Antoine and I had to let the BWZ readers know that he still rocks the house. He was pounding on the drive thru video return at the Carrboro Visart, and he told me that he was straight up go-go with his beats. After some meaningless deliberation and some near misses with the local authorities, 'Twan split out and headed towards the tracks. Who knows where he goes. Let's just hope it's to a better place.

DVD Review: Into The Wild

This is a horrible dvd review, but since we haven't put anything new up on the Boredom Watch site lately, I thought I'd cut and paste it in here for any hardcore fans. We get your e-mails and though we often don't respond, its because we don't want to alienate you. Please understand.

Anyway, as for the film which stars the kid from Lords of Dogtown and has gotten mad media hype as being the best film of the decade and what not, I must admit that it left this BWZ reviewer disappointed and rankled to the core. This is mostly due to the fact that I actually read the book when it came out, and don't have a really fresh memory of it, but know enough to remember it was absolutely nothing like the movie.
Having said that, there also is the obvious problem with the way they've bounced all over the place in the timing of how everything happened, it makes it kind of difficult to understand how this kid got so off track. The film version almost glorifies his idiocy in a weird Hollywood way. One minute he’s skinning big game animals and swatting off flies in the process, and the next he’s hanging fireside with hot brunette who I don't even remember being in the book. Or he's hooking up with whacky hippie travelling couples. What’s the deal with this movie anyway. It’s cool when a salty old dog takes you under his wing and teaches you the roundabout, but get real people. This humpty dance ended when the first dose of Geritol was introduced!
Anyway, this kid was cool in Lords of Dogtown, but in this flick he is forever known now as the lord of dumbasscoldwildernesskidtown! And the real dude who died doing this stupid shit is spinning in his grave right now because this movie mocks his very existence for whatever it was worth. I hated this movie because I read the book, and I’m not trying to be a pretentious literary dick because I’m hardly the literary guy. Seriously this movie should have been called something else because its not into the wild. Rock on anyway, it was worth the $1 Redbox fee!